auto flush engage

seriously, i'm tired of toilets that flush themselves. they always do it while i'm still sitting down.

yes one little thing can revive a guy

and that is a slice of rhubarb pie. i'm fairly sure that i've never had rhubarb pie. in our backyard we always have had these two huge rhubarb plants. they never really spread or anything. they are just huge. they're between the compost and my dad's tomato garden. well this year a brought some rhubarb back to lansing, and tonight sage and i are making pies. they're in the oven right now. wee.

also, i did a study about gift giving, specifically the giving of flowers. multiple choice. 30 minutes. 40 bucks.

"i feel like a lab rat."

the other week i participated in a gum tasting study. i sat in a white room in my own little cubicle and tasted the gum that was passed to me through a small door. to "cleanse my palate" between tastings i drank water and nibbled saltine crackers. then i provided feedback.

lab rat? maybe. $30 for one hour? fuck yes.

the schmalz family curse

last night i was double teaming it with two cell phones, calling in frantically to 103.5 in chicago to win tickets to see blink 182 on their reunion tour.

well you had to be caller 103, and i was caller 104, but they gave me tickets anyway!

so yay im so excited oh man ive never won anything on the radio this is so cool in fact im hardly ever lucky enough to win anything at all woohoo life is working out for me for once


...oh. the show is on august 15.
i'll be driving back to ohio from myrtle beach on august 15.
that's a 10 hour drive. that leaves no time to get to chi.


dramatic irony? naw. that's just my everyday life.

this is gonna hurt a little

it's been almost 3 weeks since my piercing, so i went in as i was supposed to and got a shorter bar.
waited around a while, that was fine, i expected to. she said "this is gonna hurt a little."

holy hell.

that was probably ten times more painful than the actual piercing, her working that thing through my lip, screwin the little ball on. oh my god.

i felt a little wonky when it was done and i almost passed out as i was walkin out of the place. i had to feel around for somewhere to sit, it was surreal. after i sat a while i was fine.

and im pretty sure i forgot to say "thanks"

"i'm on a very strict diet. i can't have any mayo."

last night at work this seemingly really sweet girl ordered a burger in a bowl with the sauce of the month.

(may's sauce of the month: avocado sauce
june's sauce of the month: wasabi aioli [mayo based])

well i didn't know that we switched to the june sauce two days early. this chick wants her avocado sauce of the month, so i ring it in for her and her food comes out and within a few minutes she's super pissed because she poured wasabi aioli all over her fucking burger salad. and also she's on a very strict diet, no mayo allowed.




keke

no one's gonna love you more than i do

so i planted sunflowers in our front yard. set up stakes with line and ribbon between them to make sure they didn't get mowed or trampled. they are doing amazing, growing like a quarter inch every day.

except today. when the asshole who mows our lawn stuck his machine under the line and two of them got mowed.


UGH. i wanna throw up i'm so upset.