what is the hardest thing

driving stick while holding two ice cream cones.

the greatest generation

my grandma was talking about growing up in the great depression. when i walked in she was in the middle of saying "there were three druggies in our town; this was in a time when that was quite a thing.... it was the doctor, the drug store owner's wife, and the blacksmith."

trend-setter

So, tonight my mom and I went to buy presents for her teaching interns. "All of them tell me that their students love Smencils," she said. Apparently "smencils" are smelly pencils. So we tried to find some, but no stores seemed to carry them. Then I found these:





I told her to get them and tell her interns that what students REALLY like are "swencils". Sweater pencils.

he'll be single for awhile yet

today after thanksgiving dinner we were all playing catchphrase, and my aunt was giving a clue. she said, "someone who's cooking in the kitchen with big pots and pans."

my cousin said, "woman."

oh now you tell me

we ate at a fancy restaurant. the service was terrible. the food was pretty good, but not enough of it. it was overpriced. the next day, huffington said it would be getting a 1 star review. i wish they had broken that story out a little earlier.

fly like a cheesestick

today in the car with my mom, like a g6 came on. i was going to tell her a story about the song, so i said, "you know how they say 'fly like a g6'?"

to which she responded, "oh, is that what they're saying? i thought they were saying 'like a cheesestick'."

on landmarks

my blanket keeps pulling above my feet. i am too tall.

i miss being a kid. when i was little, my family & one of my bro's friends went to disney world and we stopped at my aunt and uncle's in atlanta. we were in our full sized van, named AirBowden. i was in the middle, my bro and his friend were in the back, rents in the front. i played pokemon the whole drive down. we got lost and it was dark out, so we stopped at mcdonalds and called them for directions. i was concerned, being little and not knowing what was up.

my brother joked to his friend about the conversation that would take place in asking for directions.

"Hello? Yeah we're lost, and it's dark."
"Well where are you?"
"Under a big sign?"
"Ok that's good, what's it say?"

"McDonalds"