im obsessed with knitting

it's like "what should i do? oh hey look at my knitting sittin over there all cute, i should work on it"

KNITKNITKNIT

wall to wall

"HAY THERE AREN'T ANY FESTIVE TIDINGS ON THIS WALL
MERRY XMAS JACKASS ♥"


the punchline is that the wall belongs to my jewish/athiest housemate.

im adorable

i took a picture of myself pretending to sleep and then uploaded it and updated my twitter.







then about 8 minutes later i left to go shopping

what is the best thing

doing two loads of laundry, dumping it all in a pile on your bed, and taking a nap under it.

bogilla firesux

can anyone tell me what the fascination is with mozilla firefox?? anyone?!?!?!


all it does for me is SUCK BALLS.

ima be a cute mom like this

during our annual hang out sesh, ian mentioned hot chocolate in front of his parents at which point they sprinted to the kitchen to see what ingredients they could throw together to concoct a makeshift version of those powdered packets of chocolatey goodness. the result was a mixture of melted candy bars, honey, and skim milk.

not bad.

i told him i was going to write it in my blog later

i said to steve that apple jacks were like fruit loops that don't suck and steve and i agreed that fruit loops suck and steve said he used to think he didn't like apple jacks because he didn't like fruit loops.

a question, if i may

why do girls go to the bathroom together?

sincerely,
a concerned citizen

i dont give a fuck about saving energy

i pulled the chain to turn on the light in my bathroom and it came out. but the light turned on.

and will stay on until i find a screwdriver or call the landlord.

man down

there was a razor blade in my backpack and when i went to get my pencil i sliced my finger and bled all over the place.

best exam ever.

yeup im a grrrl

i like to dance to rap in front of my turned off tv.

its fisheye convex screen makes me look like im in a music video, like those hawties on mtv.







(plus convex screen = ass looks bigger)

thx

bubbly laundry

lol why is there an empty bottle of corona in the garbage can in the laundry room of the apt building?

shh

don't tell anyone about this but sometimes i'll just randomly de-friend people on facebook. not my actual friends / people i talk to or whatever. just those people who friended me just because we went to high school together or met once somewhere. it's my little indulgence; my little f.u. to the categorical friend system.

the reason for volume knobs

as familiar as the sounds of an old house besieged by storms come swiftly the moans and grunts of a housemate and girlfriend ensexed whence there was only hush before. no reticence for love, each night it comes not softly and through many plastered walls and doors latched firm.

truth right here

leahcrashescars: why arent you writing my name in
airbowden: cuz if you won you'd never have time to trade me lunches


today, we're history makin

it took two tries, but

i made apple fritters this evening. they turned out well. everyone was all complimentin' me and stuff. it was nice.

nom.

im doin it

today's words of wisdom:
"just break his little heart and have a rawkin saturday"

WUTWUT

no contest

"When I lived in Cape Elizabeth, Maine, before I was married, I shared a house with two other people, and we decided not to turn on the heat for as long as we could stand it--I slept on my bed in my down sleeping bag (rated good to 0), and had to wear a wool hat. My nose was still freezing, but I couldn't sleep with my nose covered. Oh, those were the days! Even after we turned the heat on, it was still cold."

-my mom

hay

the eponymous character of hey arnold was voiced by three different people. the years that they did it all overlapped, meaning they took turns.

what the hell?

mr jameson, pleas reilinquish rommand of rthe new colonizagion exhiobioitn

drinking while playing strategic board games is one of the worst trivial mistakes i have ever made. i could have won! bah! curse you, whiskey. good times, however, are super good and things.

there was a bag of white cheddar popcorn that had a rip down the side, so after everyone went to bed and cody and i were cleaning up, i wrapped it in saran wrap, he put tin foil on it, then we duct taped it to the wall. not because we actually thought it would be a good idea, but because it would be funnier the next day when it was seen, and people had known there was drinking. we were sort of going for that cliche drunken "craziness." hopefully someone will say "what the fuck?"

i'll bet i suck at b.u.i.

gum vs brain tumors

My mom recently listened to a radio show about the dangers of aspartame.

Now I'm not allowed to chew gum. :(

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

i learned something about myself tonight. during a commercial, or some show, after doing what i will soon reveal to you that i do, my housemate said something to the effect of, "Y'know what I realized about you? Every time someone yells on the tv, or in a conversation, or if someone even says the word 'yell,' you yell."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

damn gravity

i think my downstairs neighbors must hate me by now.

i was putting on some pants the other night while simultaneously walking towards my bed (so tiiiiired!) and i fell over.

also just now i fell out of my chair.

i can't remember all the things i've dropped either.

bewbee

so there's this mannequin in the still life for painting class right and it has a cloth draped around it and one of its breasts is showing so our teacher gets all mad because she thinks it is sexist and objectifying women but you could tell no one else cared. she thought there should at least be a dude mannequin with his "little dick showing." i thought they should have given the girl mannequin a thong and a black eye but it seemed like a bad time to suggest it.

uckfay the otationray uchmay?

i feel kind of foolish, packing all these winter clothes. it's 70 degrees and sunny.

oh, michigan.

almost mid-october

it's a go-to-the-park day.

you're the future savage

"oh shit it's 1230 i gotta grab some junk food"

oh shit shake that ass ma, move it like a gypsy

surprise is french for surprise

i received a shock to my system today while i was priming some sheets of masonite for painting class. i had my laptop playing my usual eclectic assortment of tunes, and my dad came to inspect my work. he became fixated in a toe-tappin' state, and an incredible look of approval came over him. he wanted to know what song i was playing. i informed him, "a mash-up of ACDC and Busta Rhymes." he nodded. it seemed to tickle his fancy, and i was surprised. he usually detests the "young peoples' music," but in this instance, he asked me if i could somehow get him a copy of the song.

reminds me of the time my mom expressed her like of a notorious big single.

when the pressure is on, i dream

before i had come up with a first post, i had a dream about posting on here. my first post ever. golden.

too bad i can't remember it.

stop.

just, fucking stop. please. you're not your brother. you're not anyone anymore. and the rest of you should be ashamed too. you're so goddamn old. chicks do not (should not) dig you. you are now the creepiest men in popular culture. there is (hopefully) nothing appealing about twenty-somethings dancing sexually with 40-somethings. while i do respect people and their choices, this is absolutely unacceptable. your music, the reason you're here again, is absolute shit.

fuck you, new kids on the block.

this doesn't work on girls

I was walking down the street the other day when a foreign dude with headphones on started singing to me the song he was listening to, which incidentally was "My Love" by JT.

He then proceeded to follow me when I turned down my street, asking for my number, could he buy me some drinks (at 4 PM?), what are my hobbies, "we could hang out..just as friends though!"

the verisimilitude of brown paper bags

what's this about anyways? is there some point? i guess it's all just fun and games until someone blogs about something serious huh? well believe me when i say i'm serious now. gimme your lunch. i am not even joking. i am the opposite of joking, which is, little known fact, starving. i'd need an old coke bottle to contain all the hungry i am. too bad i just brushed my teeth (had to get rid of those fuzzy sweaters). so, beer me a sandwich.

and a beer.

Nom Nom Nom

Your blog looks delicious.