what is the best thing III

getting back under the covers after a few hours and finding they're still warm.

the benefit of cooking for one

i just took everything i was craving out of my fridge and made it into a meal.

steak topped with cheese, avocado, salsa, and bacon bits.

i don't really know.

ok, elitist asshole, you live in maine

so last night i tried to give maine a chance. i was going to go to a bar here with my friends that was having an "80s night". if you dressed 80s you got in free.

no job = no money, so i threw on some things that were 80s-ish. i did that hair to the side thing, bright colored shoes, wool socks that looked like legwarmers....it wasn't super 80s but i thought it was good enough and they'd give me credit for trying.

i get to the bar, the bouncer checks my ID, consults with his two bouncer chick friends, looks at me and says:

"cover tonight is $5."

i looked at him incredulously, turned around, and walked out. i wasn't about to pay AND look ridiculous.

ca-ching

today, i found $2 on the floor in our bathroom. my fat roommate must have dropped them while...you know.



unfortunately i already spent it on cupcakes.

finally got me some lunch not filled with crappiness.
four stories! three bases! zap zone laser taaaaaaaaaaag! pew pew pew pew!
i hadn't played laser tag since like my twelfth birthday party or something. it was a lot awesomer this time around, after my years of first person shooter experience, it was like jumping straight into a video game. the maze was ridiculously complex though, so i was just going around willy nilly. i got 2nd place overall. pewpewpewww. we had a blast.

pew!

we miss our moms

well since we seem to be trading filet mignon lunches instead of our usual sandwich apple chips ordeal, i guess i'll write about MY favorite night this summer.


frisbee with the usual group of people, the ones i knew in high school but for some reason never talked to. high school was too much of clicks and small groups of friends not bothering to meet each other. that's ok, now we make up for lost time. it was an unusually muggy night and sweaty game so afterwards 6 of us went swimming at the quarry. a dirt road back through puddles and up and down hills until we finally reach our own private, warm swimming hole. treading water with our bottles held up in the air to keep them chilled, and only the headlights of the car and the moon giving us light to see.

we jumped off the rocks a few times and piled back into the jeep. it had no roof, so the ride home was all cold air, but with the stars and the trees and the night all around.



mmmmm.

second post about drinking! i'm such a lush.

last night was the best drunk i had ever experienced, and i remember everything, so that's a plus. it was an outside party with a fire!
i fell down twice. once when my housemate and i were listening to the most boring goddamn story and when the guy paused for a second he said "And THEN what happened?" so i fell down laughing. the second time i was in an arm over shoulders circle with cody and four goils, and three of them announced they had to go to the bathroom and left together. about to question why girls always chose to go into tiny bathrooms in packs, i was left without shoulders to lean on and i fell over backwards onto the wet driveway. i was able to appreciate how comical it was at the time, so it was pretty fun.
other than that, good times, good friends, good laughs, good memories.

i was going to tweet this but my reasonable half thought it wouldnt be aweosme.

"too dru nkkkkka hwopso. slap mself on the face staring ta lrd of the rings mpa. shit. ccar[pcrapcraprcraprcrap. ifits a crmie that menia escligla y gulyigy of lovingl you. ma bye im irihga m abyel yim rwrong llove you dear tlike i do if its a crima teh n m aguildy lguilty ofloving you doo doododo doo doo"

slapping my cheek re-orients my vision when i'm drunk, making me feel less like i'm on a ship on the rocking seas.

i should rpobalby shotrow up some time. i am tor durnk. yuk.

hahahahahhaha this wa ssupposted to be for my blog. oh well. good l unch. <#

this is the case, this is the courtroom, this is...

so this morning i sent an application to judge judy because a "friend" of mine owes me some money.

this afternoon i got a call from a nice lady in L.A. saying they would give my "friend" a call and look into the case.

free airfare and hotel stay in L.A., plus payment of the money i'm owed if i win?

hell yes.
fingers crossed.

auto flush engage

seriously, i'm tired of toilets that flush themselves. they always do it while i'm still sitting down.

yes one little thing can revive a guy

and that is a slice of rhubarb pie. i'm fairly sure that i've never had rhubarb pie. in our backyard we always have had these two huge rhubarb plants. they never really spread or anything. they are just huge. they're between the compost and my dad's tomato garden. well this year a brought some rhubarb back to lansing, and tonight sage and i are making pies. they're in the oven right now. wee.

also, i did a study about gift giving, specifically the giving of flowers. multiple choice. 30 minutes. 40 bucks.

"i feel like a lab rat."

the other week i participated in a gum tasting study. i sat in a white room in my own little cubicle and tasted the gum that was passed to me through a small door. to "cleanse my palate" between tastings i drank water and nibbled saltine crackers. then i provided feedback.

lab rat? maybe. $30 for one hour? fuck yes.

the schmalz family curse

last night i was double teaming it with two cell phones, calling in frantically to 103.5 in chicago to win tickets to see blink 182 on their reunion tour.

well you had to be caller 103, and i was caller 104, but they gave me tickets anyway!

so yay im so excited oh man ive never won anything on the radio this is so cool in fact im hardly ever lucky enough to win anything at all woohoo life is working out for me for once


...oh. the show is on august 15.
i'll be driving back to ohio from myrtle beach on august 15.
that's a 10 hour drive. that leaves no time to get to chi.


dramatic irony? naw. that's just my everyday life.

this is gonna hurt a little

it's been almost 3 weeks since my piercing, so i went in as i was supposed to and got a shorter bar.
waited around a while, that was fine, i expected to. she said "this is gonna hurt a little."

holy hell.

that was probably ten times more painful than the actual piercing, her working that thing through my lip, screwin the little ball on. oh my god.

i felt a little wonky when it was done and i almost passed out as i was walkin out of the place. i had to feel around for somewhere to sit, it was surreal. after i sat a while i was fine.

and im pretty sure i forgot to say "thanks"

"i'm on a very strict diet. i can't have any mayo."

last night at work this seemingly really sweet girl ordered a burger in a bowl with the sauce of the month.

(may's sauce of the month: avocado sauce
june's sauce of the month: wasabi aioli [mayo based])

well i didn't know that we switched to the june sauce two days early. this chick wants her avocado sauce of the month, so i ring it in for her and her food comes out and within a few minutes she's super pissed because she poured wasabi aioli all over her fucking burger salad. and also she's on a very strict diet, no mayo allowed.




keke

no one's gonna love you more than i do

so i planted sunflowers in our front yard. set up stakes with line and ribbon between them to make sure they didn't get mowed or trampled. they are doing amazing, growing like a quarter inch every day.

except today. when the asshole who mows our lawn stuck his machine under the line and two of them got mowed.


UGH. i wanna throw up i'm so upset.

from now on i go to chuckie cheese

last night i went to safari land, kinda like the ghetto chuckie cheese, for my boyfriend's cousin's 7th bIrThDaY pArTeEEee~~

so we had 50 tickets and we wanted to buy this back scratcher (lol..) but there was a really long line for some reason. well, eventually we realized that this grumpy old black guy was there with 5 of his white (?) kids and he had about 126853257 tickets to divided between all of them. o_o

after a few rude remarks from him ("i'd be able to finish if all these PEOPLE weren't standing in my way!") we eventually asked the ticket counter lady if we could just get our backscratcher REAL QUICK.

but that didn't go over well with old dude. "what makes you think you can do that?!?! what makes you think you can cut in line??!?!?! YOU NEED TO BACK UP! BACK UP!"

well, i accidentally dropped an fbomb in front of a mountain of kids, so we decided to give up and go bowling and come back once he wasn't there.

:D

an excerpt from an email to my mom

so we were having a party tonight, and i was in my room talking to nick online (i don't attend our parties). and suddenly, there is a loud pounding on my door, not like knocking, but more like BOOM. BOOM. so i thought it was a drunk guy looking for the bathroom, as it sometimes is. however, this time, the door was kicked in, and there was a short guy with a leg brace on, and behind him a large tall guy. so basically the second the door breaks in, i'm leaping to my feet saying "what tHE FUCK." and the short guy yells "fuck!" and runs down the stairs. i run after him, i'm not really sure what i'm doing but i knew this wasn't something that i should just let go and stay in my room for. the guy's friend is saying something to me like "he's cool man don't worry about it," but i'm not concerned with him. the guy in the brace falls down the stairs, summersaulting and landing on his face. i'm surprised and i stand a few steps above him. he gets up, (there are lots of people downstairs) and he's asking "what happened" and people are like "you fell down the stairs!" and he kind of shrugs and walks over to lean against a wall and he picks up his crutches that i guess he left there. so i stand in front of him, perplexed by this, and filled to the gills with adrenaline. after about five seconds that felt like a minute, tyler and his friends came downstairs (they had just settled into bed), the guy's two or three friends appeared, and we confronted the guy about what he did. he vehemently denied it, his friends assured us that he was on cocaine and didn't mean it, and nobody downstairs knew what had happened upstairs, so the majority of us just tried to get him to leave. he became verbally abusive, especially towards tyler's girlfriend, who is a very independent woman. that was his mistake, and before he could throw punches, my friend who's in the airforce put him in a choke hold, and his friends and my friends mediated the situation, getting the guy to leave. he went outside, then kicked the glass of our front door out. after he was out of the house, i just stood in our foyer and regained some of my faculties, deciding it would be better to just stay inside, since i had gone this long without violence. my housemates and big strong friends chased the guy and his friends away from the house. the guy was trying to start a fight. we got some phone numbers and names, and they took the guy away.

24/7 tech support

to my surprise, my housemate drunk dialed me at 2am. he pretty much wanted to know how to charge cody's xbox controllers. i told him i didn't know how, because i don't. i'm always surprised when people call me while intoxicated, since it is something so entirely foreign to me.

i think that after we all grow old and live our very different lives, due to my strange nature, i'll start drunk dialing after i'm 40. i'll call their home phones though.

wake up their kids.

kinda like those foldy things that tell your future

the girls at the table next to me at noble tree cafe made lists of what they want in a man and now they are each reading the other's lists and discussing them.

"smiley eyes"
"available"

i remember doing that in middle school. yeah.

the difference between us

i watch this video once.


ian watches it ALL DAY.

pump up the jams

i got a couple belated xmas presents from relatives. a pair of polar bear pajama pants, and a pair of fuzzy soft plaid pajama pants.

my housemate drew has the same polar bear jams.

my housemate steve has the same soft plaid jams.

i know i'm not the only one

dear tropicana,
your new easy-pour bottle is super efficient for pouring orange juice, NO DOUBT. but did you ever consider the people that don't pour their orange juice? i like to drink mine right out the bottle and this new design makes it a little more difficult.

maybe you could start two lines of juice bottles, one for the pourers and one for the lazy asses who don't want to use a cup cos then they have to wash it later.

thx.

the rest of the world is finally catching up

in yet another of my journalism classes we are "learning" how to create a blog.

now, i've had a blog since i was about 12 years old. just sayin. i've used all types of different servers, experimented with layouts, html, the whole thing. i don't need you to teach me the code for inserting a link.

and we get to write about whatever we want? really? well the girl next to me is writing about her liberal arts degree and how she changed her major after her first semester. if only my life were so exciting, maybe i'd have something to write about.

i'm just waiting for tradin lunches to get all famous so i can forget this pointless journalism degree.

going through my bookshelf

i found a thick volume entitled A Celebration of Young Poets, Michigan - Fall 2002. i had a poem published in the "High Merit Poems - Grades 7, 8, and 9" section. that means i didn't win first, second, or third place, but they felt obligated to publish my poem because I submitted it. it was kind of cool.


until i saw my typos.

mennonites use facebook, too

so during grades k-3, the public schools where we lived were low quality so my parents sent me to a private mennonite school (just to clarify: i was never a mennonite). had to wear dresses everyday to school, my teachers wore those white head coverings, the whole shebang. think of them like laid back amish people.

now one of these girls i was kinda friends with finds me on facebook and adds me. ok, kinda creepy that you remembered me and found me on there, but whatever.

NOW THEY'RE ALL ADDING ME.

and half of them are married, because really, what else is there to do out in the land of church picnics and cow manure?

98.6

i just bought a digital thermometer and im obsessed. i must take my temp about 8 times a day.

the rebel trend

i think more people take part in anti-valentine's day events than actually celebrate it.

1up

my mom has a facebook

about to play a downbeat song

chris bathgate: my friend misty calls these songs "smile-makers."
michael beauchamp: why's that?
chris bathgate: i think it's hipster sarcasm.


everyone laughed

form vs function

today was the second class of 3d design. my teacher is one of those artsy guys. he's really old.

anyways, we folded pieces of paper for two hours. just yknow. foldin' em. making beautiful forms.

tuesday we're going to make paper hats and boats.

if cows lived in antartica...

a couple of nights ago the power went out for about 2 hours.

i didn't know how long it would be out for, so i put my milk in the freezer just in case.



yesterday i really wanted some cereal, but i couldn't find my milk!
"somebody stole it!!!" i thought.

nope. it's actually just frozen into one giant milkcube.

she must be tired of somethin round here

august and everything after is the best album ever.

always listen to it.

like a needle in a haystack

i divided my 2 notebooks in half so i could use them each for 2 subjects.

i dog-eared the page halfway through to begin the second subject, and started taking notes there during class.

now i can't find that DAMN page!

you know i got them cat-like eyes

today i was walking through pilsen (a neighborhood where i am almost always the only white girl on the street) and a black man stared intently at me as he approached. then he stopped suddenly and said, "WHERE'S THE CAT?!" i kept walking, confused, but then he added, "the cat that you got them eyes from! hawhawhawhaw!"

i have nothing else to trade

i totally made fondue last night, and i didn't even twitter about it. so i won't feel ok until i've stored this information in some corner of the internet.

what is the best thing II

finding out that your friend from high school is the son of the owner of the best movie theater in town (the kind that only shows like one movie every month), helping clean up at closing and getting a private screening of sunshine with ten other friends from high school that you haven't seen in three years.

with free root beer.